Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over. It Is A Chance To Build Something Better This Time
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— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
That is a trick and triggering question. So first let’s deal with the obvious … unexplained time, money energy … extra-long bathroom breaks with the phone? Covid lock-down weeded a lot of unexplained “gastrointestinal” cheating … and it goes both ways plenty of wives are guilty of this. * I will post the DL check this apple phone for messages and picks in another post, look at your own risk… but this isn’t about that. I am talking about Shitting the fan, things get real, who are you looking to? Who is your strong-arm fixer in your family? Is it your husband? If not, why not? We have lessened the man’s role in the big picture of our lives. Their DNA like most other male species is to protect the female and offspring. Somehow, we have lost our way, we are currently with a plethora of men, husbands, brothers and sons with no purpose… although their DNA says otherwise.
So, my question is … do you trust your husband? Do you trust him to defend you and your children? Do you trust that economically he will make the right choices and if he screws up will self-sacrifice to correct his error? Oh, I understand that the court system especially in the “Woke” states like California do not honor the roles for which we have been created. This does not obsolete bad choices on either side.
What am I asking is… do you trust your husband? Does he know you believe in him and will support him? Somehow, we have lost this in the last 30 years and our husbands and marriages are suffering. The good guys will do anything for their wives and families let’s give them the respect they were designed to have. If you can’t trust them, reflect why the bigger issues may be in order. Need to control, bad marriage/partner choices/addiction issues .. all factors … co-dependency issues?
Marriage is hard … let’s stop the husband bashing and give them the respect they deserve.
Here are my “Go To’s” for Whole 30. They should help you get started as well as keep on track. Don’t forget I have an entire Pinterest Board with Whole 30 links (Nikii Baker).
https://realsimplegood.com You can sign up for the Whole 30 meal plan (free at the time of this posting). I have used this plan several times – it makes it super easy to stick to the plan while having a bunch of meals, you can prep on one day and then heat through the week.
http://www.nomnompaleo.com This a pharmacist and mom turned blogger and cookbook write. She has a diverse collection of recipes and tips with a focus lots of Asian centered recipes (Yum). Her cookbooks have pictures walking you through the steps with clear instructions. This is good for those who want to develop their culinary skills or create a more diverse repertoire in the kitchen. Michelle Tam knows where it’s at.
http://Whole30.com In the beginning there was Whole 30. This program has developed into an entire system and I love it! This site will give you the foundation and the “rules” plus there is are groups to sign up for support. I highly encourage you to start here.
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New Year New You … haha we have all said that, even if it wasn’t actually out loud! New Year’s resolution …” I am going to lose weight” … uh huh me too! Year after year, failing each time around February (maybe March on a good year). I can make up a million excuses why this resolution stays out of reach, but the truth is … it just isn’t that important to me. Wow that was a truth bomb – but hear me out.
Like you, I have set out to accomplish things that seemed impossible when I started but somehow fought my way through until the sweet VICTORY, because the bottom line is … it was important to me. I was wiling to give up whatever was necessary: sleep, friends, money, time, hobbies to name a few with little complaint (there may have been a little complaining and possibly a meltdown rocking and crying in the bathtub that one time). But health … losing weight … I have failed year after year. What I am really saying is … it has not been important to me. My health has not been important to me. Looking and feeling my best isn’t that important to me.
That’s harsh right? I am not talking about being and looking perfect. I have realistic body images about what I can and cannot look and feel like – my boobs are not going to be as fabulous as there where when I was 19 years old (without a trip to that hot surgeon in Irvine- he was the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in real life). That’s life but I certainly can look and feel better then I do right now.
I know what I need to do in order to accomplish this goal. I have to make changes and stop making excuses. I need to take on this challenge the same way I have taken on all the other great accomplishments I have in my life – ALL IN! All in being uncomfortable, all in dedicating the time, all in allocating the money needed, all in asking for help and finding support, all in saying no to things that do not serve this goal, all in believing that I am worthy and capable of this change, all in …. that I am deserving of good health, all in being afraid and doing it anyway.
So … I am ALL IN … are you?
Let’s do this! I will be posting on Instagram at life_2.0_coach as well as this site (linked to my facebook Life2.0Coach) to share this journey with me. Come join me – let’s be All In 2020 together!
Having been involved in the California legal system through my career as a paralegal and Legal Document Assistant I somehow lost track of how badly underserved those without the ability to hire attorneys are. To be fair those with attorney’s aren’t fairing much better.
I had to be in court recently for a matter involving a family member. As I sat there hour after hour (opposing counsel was six hours late) I was able to observe a few things.
First, there is a reason the court system is so backed up … people with attorneys and those without. Yep its everyone. Although there are plenty of great hard working attorneys within the Family Law realm, there are just as many who are there reaping in the cash creating issues instead of trying to solve them. On the other hand, those in “Pro Per” who are self represented, clog the system with improper paperwork, conflicts about feelings not legal issues, and an unwillingness to come to the table with honesty and a willingness to find a solution.
Their only job is to create and enforce orders. The judges, I believe really try to make orders that are fair and reasonable but let’s face it … they don’t know you, your ex and have never met your kids. They hear upwards of 20 cases every single day, with basically the same complaints. I was over listening to it all after about the third hour. I think they become deaf to the sorrow and sadness (who could blame them) and do the best they can.
The biggest tip that I can give (regardless of your attorney statues) so please take it to heart … THE COURT DOESN’T CARE. They don’t care about your feelings, they don’t care about your kids, they don’t care about your finances, they don’t care that your spouse cheated, took all your money, left you, is making your life miserable, using the kids as pawns … THEY DON’T CARE.
How can this information help you? It can create a realistic expectation for you. If an attorney is promising you the moon and starts … I would be asking a lot of questions and check my billing. At the same time if you are self represented you can focus on the facts and realize the limitation of the court system. This will enable you to be more effective in your desired outcome.
It is ugly out there! Be smart, Be kind, Be realistic. As the phrase goes …. “This to Shall Pass … Like A Kidney Stone, but it will pass”.
Life 2.0 Coach 